Steps To a Strong Mentality

  1. Give yourself permission to focus on yourself it makes your safety and comfort a priority. A lot of the time, we stretch our boundaries and postpone setting and enforcing boundaries because we feel guilt or fear a negative response. In reality, boundaries not only contribute to healthy relationships with others, they also bolster self-respect and self-love.
  2. Practice self-awareness. Part of creating boundaries is prioritizing your comfort so you can feel safe and be present with others, but in order to do that you need to acknowledge your feelings and honor them. What makes you feel safe? What makes you feel uncomfortable? Remember that boundaries can shift and change as you grow allow this to happen and hold space to recognize and sit in these feelings.
  3. Name your limits. Sit with your emotions, and identify what you need physically, emotionally, and mentally so you can identify your limits and better communicate them to others. The helpful method for this is the boundary circle. Draw a circle on a page of paper. Inside it, write down everything you need in order to feel seen, supported, heard, and safe. Anything that actively conflicts or distracts from that, write outside the circle.
  4. Big consistent with the boundaries you’ve set. We can’t expect others to know how we’re feeling at any given moment, so we have to clearly communicate with others if they cross our boundaries.
  5. If you aren’t sure where to start: use I statements. I statements can help keep the focus on expressing your thoughts feelings and opinions without worrying what others are thinking. Describe your reaction to an unwelcome situation and why you have that response, then clearly lay out what you need to feel secure: “I feel _____ word _____ because _____. What I need is ____.
  6. Be direct, clear, and simple. When setting and enforcing boundaries, state what you need as clearly and calmly as possible testify, defend, or apologize for your boundaries. You can always adjust the tone or manner with which you enforce your boundaries if you like, as well. You get to decide how assertive to be, depending on your relationship with the other person, the circumstances, or even where your emotional ability lies on that day if you are nervous or sensitive about certain boundaries, you can plan what you’d like to say to protect those limits in advance.
  7. If setting boundaries makes you uncomfortable or anxious, start small. You are 100% deserve to say no without feeling guilty but it can take practice period start by setting a small boundary in a space that feels more manageable and work your way up. If it makes you feel comfortable, You can offer an alternative when setting a boundary.

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